Why complicate things? Sex feels good. It is a pleasure. I have sex for fun.” But that argument is unsatisfactory as well. It turns out the desire for physical pleasure. A fully illustrated, interactive, and completely original sex manual, combining the innovative look of a graphic novel with nonfiction advice and activities. Sex Is Fun! book. Read 8 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. A fully illustrated, interactive, and completely original sex manual, co.
Editorial Reviews. About the Author. Sex educator Kidder Kaper runs a media empire that includes adult games and DVDs, the online radio show Sex is Fun. Why complicate things? Sex feels good. It is a pleasure. I have sex for fun.” But that argument is unsatisfactory as well. It turns out the desire for physical pleasure. Procreation, wanting affection – these are just a couple of reasons people have sex. WebMD lists 20 common sex motivations and the.
Sex Is Fun! book. Read 8 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. A fully illustrated, interactive, and completely original sex manual, co. Procreation, wanting affection – these are just a couple of reasons people have sex. WebMD lists 20 common sex motivations and the. Sex Is Fun!: Creative Ideas for Exciting Sex and millions of other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Sex Is Fun!: Creative Ideas for Exciting Sex Paperback – Illustrated, June 1, In his first book, Kaper reinvents the sex manual, using whimsical cartoon characters and.
Jun 01, ISBN In his first book, Kaper reinvents the sex manual, using whimsical cartoon characters and stylishly illustrated pages to deliver fum singular sexpertise. Sex Is Fun! Both entertaining and sex, it offers a fresh take os sex toys, talking dirty, sizzling foreplay, erotic massage, inventive positions, role-playing, and other tips for a mind-blowing experience.
Read fun or with a partner, fun thirty-six chapters will help couples fun communication, explore new territory, and reach higher levels of pleasure and fulfillment. Sex fun Kidder Kaper runs a media empire that includes adult games and DVDs, the online sex show Sex is Fun, and the website www.
He sex in Minneapolis-St. Paul with his wife and their two children. Read An Excerpt. Paperback —. Add to Cart. About Sex Is Fun! Product Details. Inspired by Your Browsing History.
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With this form of social structure, social activities undertaken should be considered 'cool' by others in order to improve one's social standing. In order for an individual's social standing to be affected, these social interactions must be shared. Where the main motivation is to ascend this social hierarchy, it would be inefficient to pursue social interactions which have no effect on one's social standing.
If the sex ritual is to be kept between participants, there is no way to share the interaction with others in order for them to judge it cool and therefore it cannot affect social standing, leading to the awkwardness of participating in a social ritual which is signalled to us as ineffective for social goals.
However, mixing this with our alcohol ritual, which absolutely positively must be shared, would provide premise for an individual to brag about sexual interactions in a more acceptable fashion - if it is shared as a part, or outcome, of the alcohol imbibing ritual then there is no, or less, sharing taboo. Intertwining these two rituals allows us to participate in an interaction which fulfils emotional desires but does not affect social standing in a way which does affect social standing - thus removing the 'awkward' feeling of participating as the overriding social goal is being satisfied.
This type of hierarchy does exist in other places, however in the context of a college or university individuals are more likely to spend much more time together in a much smaller overall space, adding pressure and urgency to the need for climbing the social ladder.
The lack of true intimacy is the reason for the alcohol, the texting roommates, and the chronic developer of the anxiety disorder.
You know that the alcohol serves as a basher of inhibitors, opening the floodgates for that casual "hookup". Oh how afraid we are of true intimacy! The sex is easy, true feelings and intimacy are not, especially for young people. Great article! At 55 I'm only now awakening to what was driving my own sexual desires. It had been intertwined with my self hatred and shame of not being wanted, shame-talked by adults and confusion over developmental age sexual experiences, ie Just now realizing that part of my sexual-drive may be what I am desiring on a spiritual level Until recently and this article, I never thought through what was really going on in my psyche when I was fantasizing about another person image or why I was attracted to them!
And the powerful sexual urge has several new and deeper meanings for me now. Thank you for simple truth. I question the results of the study shared in this article, mostly because of the small sample size, but also because i know nothing else about where the sample came from.
One school? Many schools? Which area? In my experience, both in my private life with my friends and professionally while counseling people, sex as much for recreation and social connection as is playing a game of basketball. People seem to forget that humans are animals, and there are plenty of animals in the world who engage in sexual activities just because it's fun and feels good.
Yes, the article makes a point of masturbation being quicker, safer, and cheaper; but we're also a social species, and need that close human contact every so often. Some people more so than others. While I do agree to an extent with the author that sex is about the need for social connectedness, I will say that the article fails to develop a strong enough argument to fully convince me that sex is simply as stated. For instance, what about folks that have one night stands?
How would the author explain folks who have sex for money as in the adult film industry? I doubt they do so for simply social connectedness. I think sex is pleasurable as well as social. I don't see how the two notions can be separated. I don't fully agree with the author of this article. I have no psychogy degree but I have spoken at length with men who are addicted to Sex and who watch alot of porn and have group sex.
One man in particular [an artist] has little desire for social connection with others and runs away from functions. The animal kingdom [as already said] hasnot been touched upon. Also Anxiety, I believe that for many, having sex alleviates anxiety and stress, it reieves depression and for that few seconds, the orgasm whilst holding on to another, gets rid of the feeling of 'being alone' after we are born.
That very feeling that feeds addiction, hence many men and women are hooked on having sex without any love involved. Also for men, there is power, visiting a prostitute is the power that the money gives him over perhaps an otherwise beautiful woman,this is sexual in itself, the fact that she more or less does what he wants, at his pace, without love, thats a turn on.
I believe that most men, given the chance would cheat except for being found out, STDs or Religion. No bad thing but if they already have a partner to love and touch and connect with why the need for others? There are far too many things untouched here. What about a man who can only climax during oral sex or through watching Anal Sex?
I have met same. Ones taste in sexual pleasure is much like our taste for food, we all have different tastes and differing appetites. One may have a partner who is not meeting a need for a certain appetite, this could be a cause to look else where to get that appetite satisfied This is destructive to the ongoing relationship, but addictions to various things can be powerful whether a sex act, a type of food, smoking, drinking gambling etc.
I am female 27 year old and still I never wanted sex and considering how painful and humiliating sex is I don't think I will ever want it. Sex should be prohibited since its an act of vandalism over a woman, besides its much more pleasurable to be a virgin than having sex. No idea why it even considered normal. Lol that's a healthy attitude to have honey.
Maybe get a girlfriend instead. Some people truly get no satisfaction or pleasure from sex. Many despise or are averse to sex And that does not make them unhealthy. Excuse me, why is not wanting your body to be used as a sex toy for other people a "massive personality flaw"? Some people enjoy the capabilities of their bodies instead of seeing them as mere pieces of meat to be used. Logically, sex for pleasure makes no sense.
Asexual and sex - averse people can choose to mate when they want offspring, which is the logical outcome of sex. So explain why The commenter should be compelled to give up his or her body for someone else to use as a toy. It sounds like you've had some very negative experiences and or messages about sex, I am not totally sure how healthy it is to feel that way you describe; as it should really be a loving act that two people do.
Even wild animals do it and there is no love involved. But its a natural instinct in most of us. It should never feel humiliating to show we love someone in that way. We do it to show we love each other and want to be as close as we can possibly be and it should never ever feel the way you feel and describe it AT ALL. To feel twisted and humiliated is not a by product of any loving relationship. Be it a parents upbringing or a male relationship you may have had its not how you ought to be feeling unless something very bad happened to you.
So I have to wonder who told you all this things or passed on these thoughts and feelings by perhaps an act; Either of neglect or abuse or just purely because they themselves were told about it in this way and came to believe it and then passed it on to you; because I truly don't believe those thoughts would come naturally to you. It sounds like you could do with someone to talk to and gain a more rounded perspective of this totally natural act.
Its a wonderful thing and also how we produce young. You are missing out on so much, and I feel for your mental health in the future with all these ugly and fairly unhealthy thoughts spinning round in your young head. I think you might surprise yourself as to what is out there for you!! Take care and remember only you can change your outlook and your future. It could be offer you much more of a loving approach to life. It's entirely possible this writer was sexually abused as a young child, to feel this negative about sex.
Even if she doesn't remember it. This could be important to address with the guidance of a very competent therapist. I agree with Danielle. I go to Sex and Love Addict Anonymous meetings.
Obstaining from sex can or having too much of it are signs of deeply rooted trauma, sometimes not having to do with the act of sex but how ones thoughts were influenced on the subject.
Shame is a very common feeling to feel. It's like me telling you that you'd be crazy not to stick a flute up your ass. Or maybe you would. But my motivation for telling you that you should do it is based on my own experiences Or the fact that I think you're an asshole for telling this person they should like sex. Its ok to be who you are, nothing wrong with wanting to be celibate!
Its the anger I sense in your comment that I find troubling. Don't put all men down and don't put yourself down, be kind and loving, maybe become a seeker of spirituality and a giver of love and peace, there is more to life than sex, you have great value and can use your celibacy for the good. Remember that without sex you would not be here I'm 40 male and never been interested in it either!
I don't think it had to do with what gender you are. Regardless of what by-products humanity has sown from sexual exploits, it remains clear through simple reason and absence of emotion that sex as a pleasurable activity is but a quark of evolution.
It is a polluted mindset, one that always focuses on sex for pleasure, for nothing is achieved. It is useless, and whether it has any secular, emotional meaning, it accomplishes nothing if procreation isn't the intent. It is not the literal energy expenditure whilst having sex that is wasteful, but instead the lustful mindset that is sweeping all of humanity. To focus on sex so often, to want to engage in sex with so many partners, yet be so avoidant of allowing the intercourse to achieve its purpose reproduction is one of the greatest follies of mankind.
You can imagine Man I mean all of humanity, but it sounds better as Man Before sentience was complete, and the hominid figure between Simian and Sapien was roaming the Earth. At this point in Man's past, He was but a figure of mud and clay, molded by nature to strive in a primitive, uncontrolled world.
But after generations and generations, from Simian to Sapien, now is when current-day Man's figure has hardened into stone. What was before behavioral and social patterns is now culture, and what was before instinct is now forethought. Now hardened, the sculpture of Man can be artificially chiseled at, for we are the controllers of our environment, and the guiders of our own progression.
No longer is nature shaping us, instead we shape nature. And whilst shaping ourselves, we chiseled at Man's sculpture, chipping off jagged edges. These jagged edges were animalistic proclivities, primal urges that current-day Man prides himself on suppressing. These jagged edges were the types of urges that have been nullified by courtesies, formalities, bureaucracy And now, when Man has the wisdom to ascertain what is a jagged edge and what should stay, He can chip away more accurately at old tendencies no longer needed.
And this brings us back to the main point: pleasurable sex mentality. It is a jagged edge, an impurity waiting to be chipped away from the Sculpture of Man by Pragmatism's Chisel. At a time, long ago, it allowed Man to be where He is today, but that time is past.
Today is now, and with sentience, the priority of now always lies ahead, in the future. I love sex I used to have sex every day but now I don't? But in my last relationship I don't get hard I just do it to pleasure her relationship I don't get hard I just do it to pleasure her? I try think about a other person l person like hot girl and I'm doing here but it cume and go? Not fully hard it like a limp dick so I need some feed back I'm no pro but I have some games not bad!!!!!!!!
Alright sometime he kick Finger tong in the mall? I believe there are plenty of us out there that truly derive no pleasure from sex. Many of us could live out the rest of our lives without another sexual encounter. It is a shame that our society dictates to those of us who don't enjoy sex that there MUST be something wrong with us.
When, in the biological aspect of it, it makes no sense to have sex purely for pleasure or for social connection. I think the people you feel "expect" this simply want you to enjoy something wonderful with a person who thinks your wonderful. At least that would be my hope for you.
And actually yes, a lot of people who don't enjoy sex on some sort of reasonable basis DO have something wrong with them wether it be past trauma or something physically and hormonally off, and if you don't like it - fine - in all fairness - don't do what others have done and ruin it for the rest of us who do. I think many married partners only engage in sex because it is a social expectation placed upon the marriage commitment.
Many people out there assume that they will receive regular sex when they become married, therefor, many married people only engage in sex to keep their expectant partner happy not because they particularly enjoy or desire sex themselves. I read this article it seems to be given some food for thoughts! I am 55 married with wife alive and together.
But she is slow and not passionate stereo type same old way and that is ok. Here are some thoughts on the reasons, utility and motivation for, and effects and consequences of, engaging in sexually related thought and actions. Power over yourself 1. Also, the illustrations add a visual element that is particularly helpful for those of us with a Y chromosome. Feb 20, Stephen Hanrahan rated it it was amazing.
Apr 26, Rihad Nur rated it it was amazing. This book has taught me a lot! Mar 16, Janice rated it liked it. It's true! Jul 12, Radiolab added it Shelves: sex-ed-books-full. Radiolab asked listeners for their sex ed recommendations. Rob, a Radiolab listener, says, "I gave an author signed copy of it to my son as an addition to our open sex education.
The pansexual open nature capturing the variety in human sexuality makes it a great book. Over and Over. You will read a section, put the book down, and then flip through to another chapter. For a couple days. How many other books do you know that have accomplished that?
We are publishing this book for people who think that getting it on is a great way to spend their time. If this means that we draw a chapter featuring women with women, men with men or God Forbid, a straight couple, just try to find a way to adapt the chapter to fit you and your partner s. The fact that reflection time is honored in this educational book reflects well on respecting different learning styles and processing formats.
Judy Painter rated it did not like it Jun 19, Jason rated it liked it May 03, Ben Baldwin rated it really liked it Aug 28, Victrious rated it liked it Apr 02, Sabrina rated it liked it Nov 15, Natalie skipp rated it it was amazing Aug 20, James Goulard rated it really liked it Aug 09, Randy Austin-cardona rated it it was amazing Apr 10, Nikolaj Hansted rated it really liked it Dec 23, Christina Schultz rated it it was amazing Mar 05, Lewis rated it it was amazing Sep 24, Jacob kenneth clute rated it it was amazing Mar 07, Nelson Cannon rated it really liked it Jul 16, Joanna Rose rated it it was amazing Jan 20, Lee Mandelo rated it it was amazing Dec 22, David Nolan rated it really liked it May 04, Kurt rated it it was amazing Aug 29, The first thing the two of you should do is talk about what intimacy means in your relationship.
What does intense sex feel like, both in the moment and afterwards? What was the best sex you guys ever had like? If you want to have intense sex, you have to have the right atmosphere for connection. You can do things in the moment, like turn off all electronics, or set the mood with soft music and candles.
You can also make bigger-picture changes, like creating a weekly date night or planning weekend getaways. Talking to your partner while you're having sex is a great way to turn up the heat. Tell them what you want them to do to you. Tease them, and make them beg you to give them what they want.
Describe to your partner exactly how their touches and kisses are making you feel. Even simple words of affection can make the two of you feel closer. Remarkably few people make sustained eye contact with each other during sex. Holding eye contact with your partner is one of the fastest paths to more intimacy. You may find yourself feeling surprisingly shy, so try gradually building up to longer periods of contact.
Once you feel more confident, try keeping eye contact even as you orgasm! This is another quick but effective tip. Most people have sex at night with all of the lights off, so they don't have the opportunity to truly see each other while they're being intimate.
Try having sex in the daylight, or keeping the lights on. Candles create a very nice glow, and you can easily modify the amount of light by adding more candles or blowing a few out. See what it's like to actually look at each other while you're being intimate.